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2. What Draws Others to Me?

Understanding What People Like About You and Why


"If you desire to become a people person, then you need to develop an appealing personality that causes others to respond to you." -- John C. Maxwell

What is it that draws people to you? John Maxwell sums that exceptional, magnetic quality up in just one word: charisma.

You can likely identify "charisma" in someone else, maybe even yourself, but can you define what it means to be charismatic? The internet defines charisma as:

  • A compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others.

  • A personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm.

  • A personal quality of presence or charm that compels others.

That certainly sounds like something we could all benefit from having, so how do we get it? The good news is that charisma is a quality that we can develop! "Each one of us has certain abilities that will increase the charisma of our personality" if we learn how to be intentional.

Let's dig in and define the outstanding characteristics of charismatic people. John Maxwell does this by using "charisma" as an acrostic.









As we go through each of these, remember that these are not simply born within you. Instead, they are attainable by anyone who cares about other people and wants to develop their relational skills.

Concern - the ability to show you care

Charismatic people have developed the ability to show concern for the feelings, needs, and interests of others. You can sense their interest and care when you are around them, and you feel important because of their attention.

Help - The Ability to Reach out

Charismatic people are helpers; they make an effort to see others profit by helping them solve their problems.

  • Tell them it takes time.

  • Expose yourself to their problems to relate to them.

  • Assure them of your confidence in them to overcome.

  • Creatively help them find a solution.

  • Offer them hope through the process.

Action - The Ability to Make Things Happen

Charismatic people always seem to be in the middle of something exciting. They have the ability to say things creatively and confidently do things. They are never dull.

“Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are in making them feel good about you.” — Dan Reiland

Results - The Ability to Produce

Charismatic people want to be on the winning side of life, but they not only want to win but also want others to win. This creates productivity! Charismatic people use their strengths to help others.

Influence - The Ability to Lead

What happens to you speaks of your circumstances. What happens in you speaks of your character. What happens through you speaks of your charisma. Charismatic people can influence people to move forward through their experiences, expertise, and example.

Sensitivity - The Ability to Feel and Respond

Charismatic people have the ability to be sensitive to changing situations. They display discernment and courage by leaving their comfort zone to make others feel comfortable.

Motivation - The Ability to Give Hope

The secret to motivating others is to provide them with hope. Charismatic people achieve this through learning affirming skills, and problem-solving techniques, verbally encouraging others, and conveying belief and support in others.

Affirmation - The Ability to Build Up

Charismatic people intentionally affirm the accomplishments of others. They think the best of others, believe the best in others, and express the best to others.

This week, honestly consider your charisma level by grading yourself for each statement on a scale of 1 to 10:

1 = not evident in my interactions with others 10 = highly apparent in my interactions with others

  1. I make others feel important by showing concern for their feelings, interests, and needs.

  2. I take the time to help others solve their problems.

  3. I use creativity in my communication and confidence in my actions.

  4. I use my strengths to ensure the success of myself and others.

  5. I can influence people to move forward through my experiences, expertise, and example.

  6. I get out of my comfort zone to make others feel comfortable.

  7. I convey hope to those around me.

  8. I verbally and actively believe in others and expect them to respond positively.

If you're on the lower side of the scale, in which areas can you actively improve your score, and how can you take action this week to grow?

If you're on the higher side of the scale, how can you further develop your charisma and take action this week to continue your growth?

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